Tag Archives: God

The Chatbox as a Spiritual Companion: An Unexpected Journey

I have a confession to make: I sometimes use ChatGPT as a kind of spiritual companion.

This is a journey I never planned to take. And I still have mixed feelings about it.

A few months ago, I decided to engage in an extended back-and-forth with ChatGPT about some questions and struggles in my spiritual life. I began with a query about my imperfect attempts to live simply – a value central to my spiritual identity. After reflecting on ChatGPT’s response, I shared more: the tension between my love of international travel and my commitment to environmental stewardship.

The conversation deepened. I wrote about what I believed and what I doubted about God, and how that related to my choices about simplicity. ChatGPT would summarize my thoughts in ways that accurately reflected my views and that helped me go deeper. Eventually, it offered me a series of queries to ponder:

“In areas where you feel restless or dissatisfied, what is ‘enough?’”

“How free am you from possessions, status, and achievement as indicators of worth?”

“What in your life feels excessive: possessions, desires, and the like?”

“How do you notice the Spirit, or Love, moving in your life, even if you can’t name it as God with certainty?”

“Can you focus more on listening deeply and responding with care, rather than needing certainty?”

I remember reading these questions and feeling… stunned. How could a chatbox so precisely grasp the contours of my spiritual life and reflect them back in such gentle, searching language? These queries have stayed with me in my thoughts. They’ve shaped choices I’ve made and continue to guide my spiritual reflections.

A Moment of Spiritual Vulnerability

To admit this publicly feels risky. Using a chatbox for spiritual direction doesn’t fit with what I’ve long believed constitutes meaningful spiritualtiy. I imagine kindred spirits of mine reading this article and being concerned about the direction my spiritual life is taking.

And yet, recent research is helping me see both the promise and the pitfalls of bringing generative AI into our inner lives.

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7 Ways People Actually Experience Spirituality

As a psychologist of religion and spirituality, I’ve often been asked what I mean when I use the word “spirituality.” I’ve been studying this topic for 30 years, and though I’ve found some definitions helpful, I’ve always suspected these definitions somehow come up short. For example, renowned psychologist of religion and spirituality, Ken Pargament, defines spirituality as “the search for the Sacred.” I like this definition, and in some ways, I rely on it, including in this article. But what exactly is “Sacred?” And how exactly do people go about “searching” for it?

I recently finished reading the book “Done: How to Flourish After Leaving Religion,” by another psychologist of religion and spirituality, Daryl Van Tongeren. The final chapter, “Post-Religious Spirituality,” offers a fresh way of thinking about these questions that brought me clarity, as it lays out seven different ways of being spiritual. Not seven different religions or dogmas. Seven varieties of spiritual experience. When I read this chapter, something clicked into place and, after all these years, I felt like I understood spirituality differently.

As you read below, you might ask yourself: how many of these seven ways of being spiritual resonate with you?

Five Ways We Encounter the Sacred

Van Tongeren begins by drawing on a 2015 study in which he and his colleagues advance a deceptively simple insight. People differ in perceptions of what’s Sacred. These differences lead to five primary sources of spirituality:

Theistic spirituality. For some, the Sacred is found in God, or some kind of Higher Power. This form of spirituality is common, particularly because it’s supported by longstanding religious traditions, rituals, and communities. Van Tongeren notes that faith, at its core, reflects trust in something higher and hope for something beyond present reality – characteristics of theistic spirituality as well. If you would describe yourself as feeling near to God, this may be a defining part of your spiritual life.

Nature spirituality. For others, the Sacred is rooted in a deep connection with the natural world. In essence, nature spirituality involves awe and reverence for the earth and its beauty. This can be witnessed in someone who finds great meaning while walking in the woods, gazing at the stars, or observing an animal. Some may feel this while caring for a plot of land close to home or working for environmental preservation or justice more broadly. If you feel close to nature, this may be an important form of spirituality in your life.

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Crafting a Positive Religious / Spiritual Identity

In the religious / spiritual dimension of your life, how do you identify? For example, with respect to religion / spirituality, fill in the blank: “I am a(n) _____.“

You may find this sentence easy to complete. You may even find this to be deeply affirming. On the other hand, you may also find the task complicated or even troubling.

When I was young, I would have easily completed the sentence to say “I am a Catholic.” But then my religious / spiritual identity expanded, and for many years, I would have proudly stated “I am a Christian.” Since that time, though, the religious / spiritual world has significantly changed, and I have changed with it.

Beginning in the mid-2000s to early 2010s, there began a general decline in religious activity – and an increase in religious non-affiliation – in the United States. Young Americans, in particular, reported strikingly negative perceptions of “Christians” and “Christianity,” often making associations between these terms and “judgmental” (87%), “hypocritical” (85%), “old-fashioned” (78%), and “too involved with politics” (75%). More recently, young people who were once – but no longer – religious cited reasons for their change as including a lack of compatibility between their religion and what they knew of science (52%) and not wanting to associate with a group they felt caused trauma to themselves or others or that perpetrated hatred toward other groups they supported (such as members of the LGBTQ population; 22%).

It’s instructive to consider all of this in light of identity, which the great psychologist, Erik Erikson, referred to as involving one’s core beliefs, values, and goals that give us a unique sense of self. In general, we’re drawn to associate ourselves with what’s positive, what’s good, and what’s valued, not what’s negative, problematic, or disliked. So, the more we believe our identity is connected with something “bad,” the more dissonance we may experience within ourselves in holding that identity. I believe this is the primary reason underlying why so much Christian religious behavior has decreased in the past few decades.

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6 Ways to Cope with Religious and Spiritual Struggles

Is God Replaceable?

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In recent years, many of us shifted our approach to religion and spirituality. Particularly in places with more resources, such as certain regions of the United States and Europe, religion generally became less popular.

As a team of psychologists of religion led by Julie Exline recently noted, shifts away from religion occur in at least three forms. First, an individual may be “done” with religion entirely. That is, they may no longer consider themselves religious and may no longer affiliate with a religious community at all. Second, a person may continue to identify as religious, but may pull back their involvement. For instance, someone may decrease attendance at religious services or spend less time reading religious texts. Third, an individual may disengage from their religious identity and religious participation and instead focus on spirituality.

New Ways to Meet Ancient Needs

In his book, “The Power of Ritual,” Casper Ter Kuile explores and advises on this third possibility. He argues that, though many people in the developed world became less religious in recent years, the underlying human needs that religion addresses continue to be vital for human flourishing. Ter Kuile writes:

“It may be helpful to think of the human longing that leads to religious culture as akin to music and the music industry, which has struggled mightily over the last twenty years, with CD sales in free fall for much of the 2000s and 2010s. But our love for music still endures… The same thing is happening in our spiritual lives… Attendance at congregations is down, but our hunger for community and meaning remains.”

In light of this, Ter Kuile puts a spotlight on something many of us may not have noticed: the creation and surge of engagement in what could be called spiritual “replacements” for religion. He continues:

“Formal affiliation is declining, but millions are downloading meditation apps and attending weekend retreats. Moreover, they find spiritual lessons and joys in completely ‘nonreligious’ places like yoga classes, Cleo Wade and Rupi Kaur poetry, and accompaniment groups like Alcoholic Anonymous and the Dinner Party… Stadium concerts and karaoke replace congregational singing, and podcasts and tarot decks replace sermons or wisdom teachings.”

Ter Kuile then notes some of the possibilities in this new era. Individuals can “unbundle traditions” and “remix them” with sacred rituals that build community and create meaning. In line with this, along with Vanessa Zoltan, Ter Kuile created the popular podcast “Harry Potter and the Sacred Text” as a way for individuals to virtually gather and ritually share a close reading of a beloved book series.

As another example, I recently went for a hike in my local state park in Afton, Minnesota. Following Ter Kuile, as I left my car, I powered down my phone to more intentionally connect with the natural beauty I encountered. I then made a point to look for a tree in the park to connect with, a tree I decided would be old and gnarly, one that stood out from the rest. I found one matching these criteria overlooking the St. Croix River, and I mindfully walked around it three times in a kind of sacred gesture to both appreciate the tree and ritualize its significance. Next time I hike at this park, that tree will surely have added meaning for me.

Questions about Spiritual “Replacements”

There’s plenty of research evidence to show that increasing community and meaning contribute to positive life outcomes such as enhanced well-being. I do wonder, though, whether these spiritual “replacements” could start generating their own doubts and questions for people. For example, what really constitutes a “sacred” text? Is Harry Potter sufficient? Would Mary Oliver’s poetry or some other text be better?

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What It Means to Have a Relationship with Jesus